[ThumBlister] Diablo 3 Review

System: PC/Mac

Playing Diablo 3 is like going to Disneyland. It's been so long since your last visit, that the excitement is almost unbearable. Yet, you were younger then, and easier to impress. No matter how excited you want to be you can't help but feel, in the back of your mind, that some of that original magic may be gone.

Worst of all is a single lingering fear. That there is no way this smaller park, even with its updated look and new additions, can ever compare to your more recent visit to Disney World (of Warcraft).

Then that magical day comes, and a relief washes over you, along with a single revelation. IT'S FREAKING DISNEYLAND. Sure there are other parks, maybe even better parks. But it will never matter because this is DISNEY, and so it is with Diablo.

For those not in the know Diablo 3 is the sequel to one of the most successful and long lasting franchises in gaming history. However, unlike other sequels, this one took over 10 years in Development Limbo before it finally found a release last month.

Diablo has you, and on most occasions a group of friends, running through randomly generated levels and dungeons ad nauseam. You will do so by playing the exact same story mode upwards of 4 times through. The enemies will not change, nor will the overarching design of the levels, but that won't matter. You will put up with the errors, the lag, the lack of stat customization, and more only so you can take a whack at the item filled enemy pinatas one more time.

Diablo 3 is not perfect, not by a long shot. It is without a doubt the laziest video game sequel in history, even when held up against the Call of Duty series.

Are the graphics amazing?

“No.” -1

Are the controls improved?

“No.” -1

Can I play offline?

“No.” -1

Can I still have 8 player parties?

“No.” -1

Can I control the stats of my characters?

“No.” -1

…..Um, can I at least make my character different than everyone else?

“Well, you can dye your armor!” +1

Blizzard relies a lot on the tried and true here. You are basically playing the same exact game you were playing 10 years ago with Diablo 2, albeit with everything annoying removed, and persistent online included. This is a testament to just how great a game the original Diablo was. There wasn't a whole lot that needed to be fixed here, it was basically perfect to begin with. We wanted more of the same and that is what we got.

Taking the time to address Diablo's every issue would be pointless because at heart, all that needs to work here is your ability to kill things with friends, and to pick a lot of crap up. Wow, will you pick a lot of crap up.

The way Diablo manages to control loot is amazing. At times enemies seem to flow weapons and armor like Niagara Falls. Most of it will be useless, and ignored, but then a new item will catch your eye. Don't expect to hold it long though, rarely will an item stay in our possession for longer than a few hours of playtime. As stats are not controlled by the player in any way, you will need your armor to constantly change in order to beef up your character.

Essentially this turns Diablo 3 into a grown up game of Barbies. You are always changing jobs, abilities, and clothes to meet the needs of the group. You and your friends will play with the same 5 dolls in the same 4 dollhouses over, and over, again. It may never change, but it will never get boring. Your friends will be there to spice things up.

In the end that is what this game comes down to, your friends. Everybody complaining about the requirement to always be online, even during single player, are wrong. Diablo is not a single player game, it just allows itself to be for your convenience. This game, especially on the harder difficulties, is meant to be experienced with a group. Collecting and pillaging your way through mindless crowds, for the sole purpose of ripping armor from an enemy’s lifeless corpse. It is with this goal, Diablo 3 succeeds with glowing perfection. This game, with friends, is a must buy.

That being said, on a technical level, Diablo falls short on so many points. What's worse is that it feels like (after both Starcraft 2, Diablo 3, and the recent Diablo server error fiasco) Blizzard is only doing B+ work. They are relying on their enormous fan base to purchase anything they dish out. Only time will tell whether or not gamers will realize this, and force Blizzard to do something it forgot to do so long ago; Try. From where I'm standing, it looks as though Blizzard may need to start taking itself a little more seriously.

Diablo 3 Technical Review gets a 6 out of 10.

Diablo 3 Entertainment Review gets a 10 out of 10.